Family - sermon at TPCSTL on October 8, 2017 -- a case of sermon study

Scripture: I Peter 彼得前書 3:7; Colossians 歌羅西書3:13

Linda and I over the last couple of months visited family in Southwest Missouri and in Texas. We saw family we had not seen in years. We even met family we had never known before. It was interesting to hear all about my family heritage (the good and the not so good) including the fact that I am a distant relative to a President and may have some Indian blood in my family heritage. What an experience!! It reminded me that what we all have in common and, in the long term, what we all need is FAMILY. Therefore, I thought we should look at family today for a few minutes.

最近這兩個月, Linda和我探訪了我們在密蘇里和德州的家人，有些家人已經好幾年沒見了，甚至有些親人是從來沒見過面的。學到自己的家世血統(有好的也有沒那麼好的)，是很有趣的事，其中包括我是某位總統的遠房親戚以及我也許有些印第安血統這些事。多麼有趣的經驗！這些提醒了我: 一個我們的共通之處，那就是，我們終究都需要”家庭”。因此，今天我們就來談談家庭。

Warren Buffet is one of the richest men in America. Just a few years ago, among the 70 or so people in this country who were worth 1 billion dollars or more, Buffet was the only one of only a few who acquired his wealth through investing. Many investors look to him for investment advice. His firm Berkshire Hathaway has one of the most widely read annual reports issued. And a book has been written about his investment strategies; it’s called The Warren Buffet Way.
If you could sit down with Warren Buffet for a while and get some investment tips would you?

Imagine for a moment that your family is your greatest capital. If you could get some investment tips on how to grow it in quality would you be interested?

華倫巴菲特是美國最有錢的人之一，幾年前，在美國差不多70位身價超過10億的富豪中，巴菲特是其中唯一幾位靠投資掙來他現在所擁有的財富的人，很多投資者都向他尋求建議。他有被研讀及引用最多的公司年度財報，他的投資策略也被寫成一本書，書名叫:巴菲特之道。如果有這個機會可以當面請教巴菲特先生，你不會想錯過吧?

想像你的家人是你最大的資產，你該會有興趣知道要如何增長”家人”這個資產的秘訣吧!

We hold in our hands a treasure of investment strategies for growing our family relationships. The Bible, God’s Word in written form, contains countless pro-family principles and precepts. If we learn and practice them they will make our family’s relationally wealthy.

我們手中已經有如何投資我們的家人的投資秘笈了，那就是聖經，上帝的話語。其中涵蓋了許多要以家庭為優先的訓誡與原則，如果我們可以學習並實踐這些原則，我們就可以使我們家人間的關係更”富足”。

Today we will look at just a few of the tips.(1) 今天就讓我們來看看幾個祕訣。

Tip #1: Try to understand each other 1. 互相了解

How many of you have some type of cable box or video equipment? How many of you know how to program them? There is a big difference between having something and understanding how it works. People who have a nodding acquaintance with a second language know the gap between hearing words and understanding the meaning of those words.

有多少人家裡有cable或是影視設備的? 有多少人知道如何正確的設定那些設備? 擁有與了解是有很大的不同的。就好像對另一個語言只有粗淺認識的人，一定明白”聽到”跟”了解”之間的差距。

1 Peter 3:7 states “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way”….; “and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (NASB)

彼得前書3:7說: 同樣，作丈夫的，你們跟妻子一同生活，也應該體貼她們在性別上比較軟弱。要尊重她們，因為她們跟你們一樣都要領受上帝所賜的新生命。能夠這樣，你們的禱告就不至於受阻礙。

Husbands we are directly instructed to understand our wives. Now I know some husbands who would say that it would be easier to understand quantum physics than to understand their wives. And guys, I know some wives who would say the same thing about us! 

丈夫們，我們是被教導去了解我們的妻子。現在我知道為何有些先生會說: 要了解太太的想法比了解量子物理學還難! 我說先生們阿，你可知道太太們也是這麼看我們的嗎?

Now while the text is directly addressed to husbands it is not bad biblical interpretation to suggest that the principle of understanding one another can be applied to other relationships as well.

雖然聖經經文是對先生說，但並不表示這原則就只能應用在夫妻關係裡。

What does it mean to understand another person? It means to “make what is important to the other person as important to you as the other person is to you.” (2)  了解一個人是指甚麼呢? 指的是要設身處地，將心比心

For instance, one husband who was not much of an art or antiquities fan, had a wife who developed an interest in art and antiques. So one year he took his wife to as many shops, yard sales, art and antique stores as he could. It cost him some money and time, but proved to be a strong bonding experience for them. One of his friends asked him, “Do you like art and antiques that much?” He said, “No, but I love my wife that much!” (2)

舉例來說，有個對藝術跟骨董並不是那麼有興趣的先生，但是他太太卻對那些有興趣，於是他花了一年的時間陪太太逛盡了所有他們可以逛的商店，拍賣，藝術品及骨董店，他花了許多的時間和金錢，但是也因此和太太有許多的好的相處時間，讓彼此關係更融洽。有朋友問他: 你真的那麼喜歡藝術品跟骨董嗎? 他回答: 其實不是，只是我更愛我的太太。

How do we develop an understanding spirit? By making the time to really get to know each other. And by making it a point to really listen to each other. I believe it was Yogi Berra (former famous baseball player) who said, “You can hear an awful lot by just listening.”

我們要怎麼增進對彼次的了解呢? 只有真的花時間去了解對方，並明白互相傾聽彼此的重要。我記得一位有名的棒球選手 - Yogi Berry，他曾這麼說: 光是用聽的，就學不完了。

James 1:19 states that we should be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (NLT) Parents I don’t know of any child that would be repulsed by a parent who was quick to really listen to them. 

雅各書 1:19說: 我親愛的弟兄姊妹們，你們每一個人都應該隨時聆聽別人的意見，不急於發言，更不要輕易動怒。父母阿，沒有小孩是會排斥一個願意，且隨時聆聽孩子聲音的父母的。

Tip #2: Keep commitments  2. 信守承諾

It has been said we should be “generous with praise, but cautious with promises.” Parents we need to do everything we can to keep promises we make to our children. Spouses we need to do everything we can to keep our promises to our one another. Children you need to do everything you can to keep your promises to your parents. 

有句話說”大方的讚美, 小心的承諾”， 身為父母我們需要盡一切所能的去完成我們對子女的承諾，身為伴侶我們也要盡力實現我們對另一半的承諾，同樣的身為子女也要實踐對父母的承諾。

Why is keeping our commitments and honoring our promises so important? Because we all tend to construct our hopes around promises.

為什麼信守及兌現承諾如此的重要呢? 因為希望往往是建立在承諾之上的。

When a man promises to love a woman until death they do part, that gives the woman security to become all she was meant to be in the marriage relationship.

當一個男人承諾要愛一個女人一輩子，這個承諾給了女人在婚姻關係中的安全感, 讓她全心去成就婚姻中的一切。

Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 says, in verse 4, “So when you make a promise to God, don’t delay in following through, for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all the promises you make to him.’ And in verse 5, “It is better to say nothing than to promise something that you don’t follow through on.” (NLT)

傳道書5章第四節說: 你向上帝許願，就得儘速還願。他不喜歡愚蠢人。你許願就得還願。第五節說: 許願而不還，不如不許願。

We can infer from this text that same holds true in our commitments to others. In other words, we are to be loyal. Proverbs 3:3-4 says “Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you! Wear them like a necklace; write them down within your heart. “Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will gain a good reputation.” (NLT)

我們可以把以上的經文引伸到我們對他人的承諾，也就是說，我們得要忠誠。箴言3:3-4說: 你不可離棄忠誠信實，要把它們繫在脖子上，寫在心坎裏。你這樣做，上帝和人都會喜歡你。

When we keep our commitments it builds trust. And there is no such thing as a healthy relationship apart from trust. Trust is the firm foundation upon which a family is built.

當我們信守承諾，彼此間的信任才能建立，沒有信任就沒有良好的關係，要知道，信任是一個家庭的根基。

But keeping commitments can be costly. I remember one time I was invited to a dinner meeting where the pastor of one of the largest churches in America was going to be speaking. I really wanted to go, but when I looked at my calendar I saw that I had made a previous commitment to some students in my school. That was tough for me, but I felt my previous commitment was more important. I know some parents who travel as a part of their profession. They will drive all night long in order to make it to a child’s school program they promised they would be at. You can be assured when the child sees them not only are they happy, but that parent has instilled within the child the importance of keeping commitments.

但是為了信守承諾，往往必須做出相當的犧牲。有一次我受邀去一個晚宴，當晚有一個有名的牧師要來演講，我很想去，可是在那之前我已經與我的學生有約了，真是艱難的決定阿， 但是我知道信守承諾是更重要的。

我知道有些父母親，一點都不介意長途開車的辛勞，他們可以開一整夜的車, 就是因為答應了孩子，要去參加他們學校的活動，你可以想見, 當孩子看到父母來到, 除了心理高興以外, 信守承諾的重要性也同時灌輸到孩子的心裡了。

Do you have any commitments now you need to be kept? Husbands and wives, when was the last time we visited the vows (a.k.a., commitments) we made on our wedding day? When we married we made a commitment that next to God our spouse would be the most important relationship in our lives. Does our time and attention reflect that?

你有需要實現的承諾嗎? 先生太太們, 前一次再去回顧對彼此的結婚誓言是多久之前了呢? 當我們在神面前承諾要與另一半攜手一輩子, 我們花了多少時間和注意力去實踐呢?

Tip #3: Give some respect 3. 給予尊重

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. is not just something Aretha Franklin (the famous singer) wanted, it something all of us in any relationship want. In fact it is next to impossible to have a deep relationship with another person when there is no respect. 

“尊重”不只是美國知名靈魂歌手艾瑞莎·弗蘭克林的暢銷金曲, 更是在人與人關係中所必要的, 沒有尊重就很難與人可以有深入的關係。

Could it be the reason some of us are not experiencing the kind of relationship God wants to have with us because we do not have respect for him? And could it be that the reason some family relationships are not secure is because God is not respected? Proverbs 14:26 states “Those who fear (or respect) the Lord are secure; he will be a place of refuge for their children.” (NLT)

我們是否因為缺少尊重，所以某些人未能體會，神想要我們體會的與祂的關係呢? 當家庭關係不穩固時，是不是因為我們心裡少了對神的尊重呢? 箴言14:26說: 敬畏上主就有倚靠；他的家人安全穩妥。

Another word for respect is “honor.” Romans 12:10 states that as Christ followers we are to take delight in honoring each other. Did you catch that? We are to “delight” in honoring another person. It is not supposed to be a hassle or something to dread. When we delight in honoring another person it boosts their feeling of value.

尊重的另一個意義是”尊敬”, 羅馬書12:10說: 要以手足之情相親相愛；要竭誠互相敬重。看到了嗎? 我們要歡喜的互相敬重, 不是爭吵或懼怕, 當我們歡喜互敬, 也增加了彼此在對方心中的價值。

How can we show that we are honoring the people in our family relationships? 我們要如何對家人表示敬重呢?
· By respecting each other’s property要尊重彼此的財物
· By respecting each other’s privacy要尊重彼此的隱私
· By respecting each other’s time要尊重彼此的時間

The people who have the most difficulty respecting others are those people with an inflated idea of their own importance; the sinfully proud. Philippians 2:3 tells us to be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. (NLT)

那些不知道如何尊重別人的人往往是那些自我膨脹, 有著非份自尊的人, 腓立比書 2:3-4 說: 要彼此謙讓，看別人比自己高明。不要只顧自己，也要關心別人的利益。

Tip #4: Offer encouragement  4. 時常給予鼓勵

Perhaps the easiest way to grow a healthy relationship is to offer encouragement. A well known actress once said, “We live by encouragement, we die without it, slowly, sadly and angrily.” (3)

培養良好關係的最佳方法是透過鼓勵, 一位知名的女演員曾說: 我們是為掌聲而活, 沒有了掌聲, 我們將緩慢的死去

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.(NIV) 帖撒羅尼迦前書5:11 說: 因此，你們要互相鼓勵，彼此幫助，像你們現在所做的一樣。

How can we encourage one another in our homes? 
家人之間要如何互相鼓勵呢?

· By smiling - 經由微笑

Job, a man acquainted with grief and sorrow, in the chapter 29 of the book that bears his name, was recalling the days before he was visited with calamity. He said that when people around him were discouraged, I smiled at them. My look of approval was precious to them. (NLT)

聖經舊約裡的約伯, 一生經歷許多苦難和哀傷, 在約伯記29章裡，他回憶那些在遭遇苦難之前的日子, 他說: 他們失志時，我向他們微笑；我和善的笑容鼓勵了他們。

Never underestimate the power of a smile. A smile not only increases your face value, but it warms the heart of those you give it to.

絕不要低估了一個微笑的力量, 微笑不僅讓你面容看來更和善, 也溫暖了那被微笑者的心

· By our words 藉著話語

Someone noted, "Man doesn’t live by bread alone. He also needs buttering up." (4) Words are power in that they can do enormous harm and amazing good. 

有人說: 人不僅僅是靠食物而活, 人往往也需要被恭維, 話語是帶有力量的,就好像水一樣，水雖能載舟，亦能覆舟。

· By pointing out the positive. - 多往好處看

A reporter once asked Andrew Carnegie the great entrepreneur of the previous generation why he hired 43 millionaires to work for him. Carnegie pointed out that those men were not millionaires when he hired them.
The reporter then asked, “How did you develop these men to become so valuable to you that you paid them so much money?”

有位記者曾訪問企業家安德魯.卡內基關於他為何雇用那43位身價百萬的員工的原因, 在回答之前, 卡內基先生指出, 那些員工在剛被雇用時還不是身價百萬, 記著接著問: 那您如何造就他們去達到今日的成就，而可以領那麼高的薪水呢?

Carnegie replied that people are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold; but you don’t go into the mine looking for dirt – you go in looking for gold!(5)

卡內基先生回答說: 人才的造就就好像掏金一樣, 要得到一盎司的金子, 得除去好幾噸的廢渣才行, 但是你是專注找金子, 不是去找廢渣!

Start today to look for gold in your child, in your spouse and in your parents. Jesus certainly must have seen the gold in the disciples he chose.

從今天起, 讓我們專注尋找，在孩子, 在另一半, 在父母親的身上的”金礦”。 就好像耶穌揀選門徒一樣, 他定是看到每位門徒身上的”金礦”, 才來揀選他們為門徒。

· By giving gifts - 藉著送禮

Are there any Barnabas’ in your house? In Acts 4:36-37 we read there was a man named Joseph, the one the apostles nicknamed Barnabas (which means “Son of Encouragement”). He was from the tribe of Levi and came from the island of Cyprus. 37 He sold a field he owned and brought the money to the apostles for those in need. (NLT) Joseph, because of his behavior, was given the nickname “Son of Encouragement.” One of the ways he practiced encouragement by giving gifts.

你的家裡有沒有”巴拿巴”呢? 使徒行傳 4:36-37節, 我們讀到: 有一個出生在塞浦路斯的利未人，名叫約瑟，使徒們叫他巴拿巴（巴拿巴的意思是鼓勵者）；他賣掉了自己的一塊田地，把錢拿來，交給使徒。

因為他的善行, 約瑟被稱為”鼓勵者”, 要達到鼓勵的目的，贈送禮物是一個好方法。

I saved the best tip for last. 最後，我要分享最重要的秘訣

Tip #5: Ask for and offer forgiveness  5. 請求及給予原諒

Anyone who lives in a family of any kind knows that people will disappoint and hurt you. I asked my mom and dad, who’ve been married for many years, what were the secrets to their long and happy marriage. One gem of wisdom was “you overlook at lot of little things and you forgive each other.”

在任何團體及家庭中, 人們免不了會彼此傷害，讓彼此失望。 我的父母親已經結婚很多年了, 我問他們, 多年來, 你們是如何維持美好的婚姻關係呢? 他們給我一個寶貴的智慧: 對生活中許多的小事, 你要寬容，並且不要忘記，要原諒彼此。

Colossians 3:13 states “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (NLT)

哥羅西書3:13說: 有糾紛的時候要互相寬容，彼此饒恕；主怎樣饒恕你們，你們也要怎樣饒恕別人。

Forgiveness is not natural. It seems to be more natural to carry a grudge; to record all wrongs in read on a legal pad in our minds; to think of ways of getting back at those who hurt us.

原諒不是自發的, 常常我們更容易在心裡去記恨, 怨懟, 想著要如何從傷害我們的人身上討回公道。

Yet the Bible is clear in its instruction. As we have experienced forgiveness from God we are to forgive others.

但, 聖經裡清楚的教導: 主怎樣饒恕你們，你們也要怎樣饒恕別人。

There was a Spanish story about a father and son who became estranged. The son left home, and the father later set out to find him. He searched for months with no success. Finally, in desperation, the father turned to the newspaper for help. His ad simply read, "Dear Paco my Hijo (means son in Spanish), meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your father." On Saturday, eight hundred young men named Paco showed up looking for forgiveness and love from their estranged fathers. 

在西班牙有一個故事是關於一位父親跟兒子因故而疏遠, 孩子決定離家, 父親想要把兒子找回來, 找了好幾個月都沒有結果, 最後, 在沒有辦法下, 父親登報, 報上尋人啟事寫著: 親愛的Peco, 我愛你, 讓我們寬恕彼此吧, 如果你願意的話, 讓我們星期六在報社團圓吧! 你的父親留。

結果, 你知道嗎? 在那個星期六, 總共有800個Peco出現在報社前，要來尋求與父親間疏遠的愛與寬恕。

Families today are filled with people who desperately long for reconciliation.(6) 

現代的家庭裡, 往往有著迫切的需要和解的人們

Some of you need to experience that kind of forgiveness from God. You can. God has sent out a letter of forgiveness – his name is Jesus. If you will receive him forgiveness will be yours.

你們當中有些人也許跟Peco一樣，需要從父神而來的寬恕與和解, 可以的! 神已經把饒恕的家書給我們了 – 藉著耶穌基督的名. 如果你願意接受耶穌, 你就能有從神來的寬恕。

Family is so important to us and to our Lord…let us always find ways to love one another…in your own family and in your church family.

家庭對我們是那麼的重要, 神在聖經也是如此教導, 讓我們不要忘記愛彼此, 不要忘記愛我們的家人, 愛教會的弟兄姊妹。

May God bless families today.

願神保守每一個家庭

Let us pray.

讓我們一起來禱告

--------------------------- two questions in the preview before sermon was delivered ------------
In what ways the Christians and Christians churches handle the family issues different from other faith communities? 基督徒跟基督教會處理家庭的方法跟方式有沒有什麼跟其他信仰社區不同之處？

Has family life a factor in our salvation? 家庭生活是不是我們得救的要件之一？

--------------------------- more questions in the Wilderness class after sermon was delivered ------------

see the video on Youtube.